ANGER DECISIONS..HOW TO CONTROL ANGER ?

Anger is a common human emotion. The world and its changing nature has increased the level of anger, has diversified the reasons causing anger.. all in all making the emotion more common. The world we know today is full of frustration which breeds anger. Well, this change is not a welcome change at all.

Happiness today has become a virtue. Today psychologists advise patients to fake happiness in order to cure depression. Fake smile is replacing real smile very fast. And in future too the prospects do not seem promising.

Let's come to anger or rage. If you have gone through my previous blogs you must have noticed I have mentioned about the increasing responsibilities on humans. In ancient times we only had to care about feeding ourselves. But today feeding has a whole new meaning. We can not just go into the forest and collect our own food. We have to work, earn money and then buy our food. And this endless cycle continues till we die.

Increasing population has put pressure on resources. This has increased competition. In this competition only few come out with flying colours and enough money to buy food. All the remaining get their share of failure, guilt, frustration which slowly grows into anger.

The above is the most common cause of anger but it is not the only cause. Apart from economic scenarios, there are social scenarios too that breed anger. This anger can lead to self hurt or one can end up hurting others.

Anger decisions are those solutions to problems that pop up in the mind of angry individuals who are going through hard times. The mental situation of these people does not allow them to analyse the solution/ option that has come before them before going ahead. They just act on it immediately.

The decisions taken in rage are never correct. The solution that seemed appropriate during that moment ends up complicating things even more. Thus it is always advisable not to take any important decision when you are angry. Future outcomes of each action should be taken into consideration before going ahead. All this can only be possible with a practical mind, one which angry people lack. 

Violence, social unrest, terrorism, and all other social and economic evils have their origin inside the minds of angry people who have been completely blinded by rage. They do not think and thus get sucked in by rage. They end up in messy, very messy places.

The only way out of this is by mastering one's emotions. We have to control our emotions and never let emotions get hold of us. Be it happiness or anger, our mind should be calm and deal with both the situations keeping a practical mindset.

Writing down the cause of our anger on a piece of paper can help. This can help us think of solutions that are practical and non-damaging. The time invested in doing this will help our mind calm down and also sooth our racing nerves. This simple step can prevent us from getting washed away by our anger and hence can protect us from anger decisions that would have been immensely damaging both to us and the society.

 Our world has been built by great minds. Minds that were stable. People who control their emotions, can never be hurt. They are socially immune. Situations can never change their peace of mind and their sense of purpose. Because peace of mind to them is a choice and they chose it whatever their surroundings may be. To achieve that we have to let go of anger. This is the true sense of being enlightened. From that point on happiness begins because happiness is no longer dependant on our surroundings rather it becomes a choice. And we chose it over everything every time.         

WHAT TO DO DURING LOCKDOWN ?..QUARANTINE BLOG..

The world is going through tough times. Citizens of many countries are under lockdown for months now. The graphs for the infections are showing spikes and the time ahead does not seem promising. But there is a good side to all these too. In today's blog we will discuss one of the positive impact that this lockdown has on us.

The most important thing that we lacked during our normal work days was time. But now we have abundance of time. All the things we wanted to incorporate in our lives but we could not because we were too busy with our lives can now be brought in and easily adopted. One of them is beneficial habits.

One's need for a habit can be wide ranging. This need depends on one's lifestyle, future aspirations and personal mindset. Some want to adopt to-do list for better organising each day. Some others want to start eating healthy or doing exercise. All these habits can be easily incorporated during this time when we are in the safety of our homes and are having abundant time in our hands.

The need for time has been sorted. Now the next important thing is action. We need to take steps so that all the habits we want can be achieved. Once we have started, almost 90% of our work has been done. Because start is the most important phase of anything.

The small actions that we take now needs to stick and get incorporated into our daily routine as a task. We all know that it takes about 21 days to build a new habit. Thus, our path is clear. We just have to keep taking actions regularly so that it fuses into our daily routine. Once the task just happens on its own and we don't have to push ourselves into doing that, we have successfully made a new habit.

All this can be very overwhelming. But my advice to you all is to take on the things slowly. Everything can not be achieved simultaneously. We have to focus on creating one habit at a time. Once we have successfully built one habit we can shift our focus to the next one.

It's an obligation for us to use this time to our benefit. Start learning new skills, build new habits etc. Once this lockdown is over, we should be able to present to the world a transformed form of ourself. One of which we are proud of. Because you never know whom you might be inspiring.   

Here are some blogs for you to read next.....

https://archishmansardar.blogspot.com/2020/04/a-lesson-learned.html

https://archishmansardar.blogspot.com/2020/04/blessing-in-disguise.html

THINK LESS, WORK MORE..

In life we can achieve things only by working.. All our dreams and aspirations demand our hard work to turn into a reality. There is no denying of the fact that, the harder we work, the luckier we get. Mere wishing for things to happen does not yield results, working does.

I am in no way denying the importance of planning. In fact I have in my previous blogs mentioned how planning gives us a direction and ensures that we do not deviate from our path. But in reality many people do not go beyond the planning phase. However elaborate and detailed our plan might be, but without the push from hard work and sweat we can never get to where we want to reach.

There have been numerous examples where individuals have climbed the ladders of success due to their sheer hard work. Every successful person will tell you how volatile circumstances forced them to change their plans now and then. This is a very important lesson we must keep in mind. Our plans however full proof we might think them to be, can turn irrelevant with changing circumstances. We have to be prompt to adopt ourselves according to the changing demands. That's working smart. Thus, our plans must be flexible.

In all these, hard work remains constant. The importance of working never degrades under changing circumstances. If the pull of the destination in mind is strong enough, working becomes easy and can enable us to overcome the defects in our planning. Keeping this positive motivation in mind, start hustling. Because a plan, without hard work to back it, is nothing but a dream. So stop wasting time in preparing a full proof plan and start working. Everything else will get sorted along the way at the correct time..All the best!!!!! 

LET THE ACTIONS SPEAK.

Our society today gives much importance to achievements. The support needed while in the struggling period is seldom given by those who surround us. Support comes only after recognition. And recognition comes after achievement. Such a system is pathetic and demotivates many from taking that crucial step. This fear that is generated appeals pupils to play it safe. The declining innovation can be credited to this reason.

What is wrong around us is an entirely different thing. To better understand that we need to have deep insight and knowledge of the society. But the result of that is evident. People prefer to give big talks instead of actually working. They do this with a hope to gather support and sometimes to get social recognition. Well the people who succeed in this big talk business often gather support but that is never a lasting one. The recognition fades away very quickly so as the support gained. But sadly the people today have less patience and want quick results. To achieve this end they agree to hold their endeavours in a safe and socially acceptable way.

Big and small talks,well are good to gain quick attention. This popularity and feeling of being at the centre of gossip leads nowhere. Thus the best way to achieve lasting success and support is to work hard and let the work gain the support it needs. When the work is established in a good way and is backed by consistency, then recognition and support follows as a byproduct.

Let your actions do the speaking and not your mouth. Working in silence is the best medicine for coping with defeat and defame.We learn important wisdom when we work alone. This wisdom makes a strong character. Such a person is stable in scenarios when the hard work pays off as well as during defeat and social humiliation.

They become shielded against all that happens around them. A kind of calm resides in them which is unshaken by external forces.

There are many who have worked tirelessly for months and have made it to the top. But their inner wisdom that they have gained during their struggle does not allow them to change and thus keeps them grounded. They continue to put in equal amount of work even though they don't have to anymore. This respect for work is what separates them from the one timers. Their work keeps blooming and attracts attention. This is the work doing the talking, while the doer is at calm and working for him/herself. In this world where everyone wants overnight success and fame, these souls keep putting in the hard work because they know that after years of working one becomes an overnight success. This is the reality of life. This is what working hard and consistency is all about. Keep pushing hard and let your work do the talking for you..

IMPROVISING..

Improvise simply means to act in the flow. ACT being the center of this thought. We achieve the greater success in life not by avoiding the hurdles but by struggling through them and improvising at each and every point. Yes it is important to have a plan but we all know life is uncertain. It rarely goes according to our thoughts. Things often fall in the right places. In such a scenario, improvising becomes crucial. But there are limits to it too. Those limits can only be known with experience.

Our life becomes meaningful only when we fix an aim. This gives direction to our efforts. Without aim we can only flow with life. In such case improvising becomes impossible. Life is uncertain and it is never a one door/ direction phenomenon. It is filled with opportunities of growth and success. These opportunities are disguised and hence a mind which can improvise each scenario can recognise it and act on it. Without such a mindset we will struggle and make the journey hard.

Allow me to use a famous line from the movie series named harry porter. It goes as "There are always two choices, one is easy and the other is right" . Improvising in a situation never means to leave the morality and gulp the chance available. Life has a bad habit of testing peoples characters. The ones who truly shine are the ones who have chosen the right. Such wisdom to choose the right comes from experience.

In every situation the first thing that needs to be done is analysing the situation with a calm mind. This will let us screen out the opportunities. After this, an impartial analysis should be done. This will make us avoid getting into traps and doing the thing that is right. Finally the most important thing is to act. Without this final step we cannot move ahead. Thus improvising is easy to hear but in reality it involves many crucial elements. When we look back on our lives we can easily make out the linkages. These linkages are based on our decisions which are related to our skills of improvising. Practising slow living can really help with this. As per every skill, improvising can also improve with practise and experience. Thus keep living and keep improvising.. 

ART OF BEING BUSY..

We have a lot of responsibility. It may be personal requirements or societal demands. All such tasks demand our time. Adding to our already busy schedule is our future that demands time of its own. These all are tasks that make us busy. They may not be adding any value to our lives, but as they eat away our time, they make us busy.

Busy is a term we all are familiar with. It means that our physical and mental selves are occupied with a task. In early days humans had limited tasks. The only thing that kept them busy was the task of their own survival. With the humanization of Earth, survival is not a task but an accepted reality. Food gathering and hunting have been replaced as we entered into the era of surplus food production. Although all this advancements have taken place, human life seems to have become more and more busy rather than being a relieved one.

With the emergence of society things got more and more complicated. Humans now had different kinds of tasks. They now had to earn. This earning enabled them to have food and other necessary items. Then came social responsibilities. Humans now had to play diverse roles which all required sincere attention. As aspirations grew, competition also grew. People had to work hard to reach their goals and make their dreams come true. The most recent is social media. A communication tool which transformed and made a space for itself. For most individuals this is the most time consuming thing of a day which keep them busy but does not provide with anything substantial other than pleasure.

So we have looked into the timeline of humankind and seen the things that make them busy evolve. We all have aims and aspirations, but we are humans, so we can not remain without being social. Then the question is how can we indulge only in those things that can keep us busy but add value to our lives at the same time. This requires very deep thinking. A careful thought will keep us busy in a positive way, this is the true art of being busy. The secret is mental decluttering. We have to group tasks into two categories. Indulge more in tasks that help us grow and limit time donated to the other category ones.

This idea is not alien. We hear about it all the time. But it is high time now to implement it into our lives. Taking social media as an example. Unless you earn a living or any substantial opportunity from it, limiting social media is the wise choice. Next is social demands. Society is made up of people. People have their own lives to care of. Thus indulging more in societal essentials is a foolish choice unless you are doing something worthwhile for the welfare of the masses. The only thing that can keep you positively busy is the work done towards yourself. These are the work you put into to make your dreams come true and make your life worthwhile. Being busy working for yourself and growing while doing it is the true meaning of life. All other things that occupy our time and make us busy are not worth the attention they get. Classify the task first, segregate them and then start working. This will free up more time and help us enjoy life as well as grow us into a mature human being..

IMPORTANCE OF A GOOD CIRCLE..

The group we hang out with truly defines us and our personality. Some can also say that our personality is shaped by the people we choose to hang out with. It is rightly said that we are as good as the circle we choose to be in.

People learn from their surrounding. They seek traits from all sort of sources, other people being the most important of these sources. Thus it is advisable to choose these people wisely. The group you want to be in should be in every way supportive and enriching. The result of choosing a wrong group to hang out with can be disastrous. It can result into complete deviation from the path you aimed to trail upon. Our focus thus while choosing our group should be on quality because quantity in no way helps in this race called life.

Leadership is an important quality in today's society. People who have such influential qualities are always of great value for corporates. This value is inculcated in us by the group we choose to be in. They are the people who support for a growth with pure heart and have healthy criticism to offer which moulds our character further. Life skills can be learnt. The thing that is crucial is that we choose the right source to learn them so that they don't backfire on us.

Taking about life skills, another important trait in leadership is mutual growth. Leaders lead the way so that everyone under them can achieve their aspirations. While being in a group we learn to have this mutual feeling of growth. Members together grow and handle the setbacks together. This the very reason that we find little contrast in a group which has been built with the primary aim of building mutually. Billionaires prefer the company of other billionaires in their group because this group would help them grow, learn from other members mistakes and most importantly handle the set backs together.

The value of things can never be known until we look back on their influence on us as a person. Similarly the value added to us by our group can only be known when we look back and analyse the sources of the traits in us that we value today. Almost every such trait must have been developed by being in the company of that select few or have been perfected by them. Having an influential group is very crucial but choosing those select few should not be done in haste. People add up at every stage of our life. We have to be the judge to know who are worth keeping and who are just for the time being. After all life is in the quality and not quantity..